Relationships Aren’t “Complicated” – The Other Person Just Doesn’t Like You

A person with a Facebook account can often log on and see the changing status of his or her various friends.

One of the things I notice the most on various friends’ pages is their ever-changing relationship status. Some people go from being “single” to “in a relationship” while others do the opposite, expressing to the world that they’ve gone splitsville with their former significant other by re-taking their “single” title.

Yet and still, there is a third popular status option: “it’s complicated.” When a person places this as their relationship status, they’re saying to the world that, while they do have someone in their life that is near and dear to their heart, there are some small difficulties or “situations” that prevent them from being to be able to say they are all the way into a relationship of some sort.

I don’t know why facebook has this as an option, as I find it particularly annoying. I understand the alleged “logic” behind it, but I find it bogus because it’s a cop-out statement for both sexes.

Here is what “it’s complicated” means when the person using it is a:

*Guy: “Me and this girl have been doing it for quite some time now, and while I do not feel like this girl will ever be relationship material, I enjoy boinking her on a regular basis. I need to keep her around so I can get my daily lay, so I’m using this statement so she’ll see it on my page and think she has a chance of eventually being my girlfriend. She doesn’t, but I’ll still be gettin’ my freak on with her until I find someone else hotter!”

*Girl: “Me and this guy have been doing it for quite some time now, and he makes me feel SOOOO good when we do it! I’m starting to catch feelings for this guy, but I don’t want him to think I’m rushing into anything. I’ll just use this lil’ phrase on my page as a hint to him that I’m thinking we possibly COULD end up in a relationship, if only he would finally sit me down and say we should be in a relationship!”

The problem is this: relationships – and when I use the word, I’m not talking about drama-filled, “oh, I want to date them but they have somebody but I don’t care I’m going to try and get with them anyway;” I’m talking about people who actually want to be with each other and spend time together – aren’t complicated.

Some people may read this and think: “That’s not true, Aaron – all relationships go through complicating times.” But there’s a difference between going through a situation that is complicated and having a relationship that’s complicated.

Just because a couple is going through a complicated issue doesn’t mean the relationship is complicated. In fact, it means the relationship is going well because they are able to help each other through it.

However, saying a relationship is “complicated” means that someone in the relationship either:

(a) Doesn’t want to be in the relationship but doesn’t want to hurt the other person’s feelings; therefore, they try to spend less time with that person, and that person starts to think their relationship is “complicated” because they’re not spending as much time together when, really, its just that person A is trying to avoid person B as much as possible;

or:

(b) Is seeing two people at the same time, and is too greedy to spend time with just one of them. If person A tells persons B and C about their inability to choose between the two of them, persons B and C will both head to facebook and call their relationship with person A “complicated” when, really, it’s not complicated at all: person A wants to have their cake and eat it in two different places, and persons B and C are too _______ [fill in the blank: emotionally unstable, filled with low self-esteem, desperate, etc.] to open their eyes and find a person who will be more monogamous with them.

For those of you who haven’t read “He’s Just Not That Into You,” go to your bookstore and pick it up. It’s a good relationship advice book for girls as well as guys, and will help you get better insight into the person you’re with really wants to be with you.

The bottom line: if a person really, TRULY wants to be with you, the end goal will be to make that relationship as uncomplicated as possible. If you’re finding yourself having to constantly switch your status between “In a relationship” to “It’s complicated” with the same person week after week, I got news for you:

Your relationship isn’t “complicated” – the other person just don’t like you that much.

But hey – don’t take it personally; just find someone who enjoys your company, and you won’t have to front like you’re “kind of” in a relationship. You’ll be too busy spending time with someone who makes you feel all kinds of things – special, attractive, and loved.

And trust me, it won’t feel “complicated” at all

-Aaron P. Taylor