WARNING: If You’re a Single Woman, it May Be Your Own Damn Fault! (Part 1)

I clicked on my Facebook account a few days ago, and the first thing that pops up is people’s status updates. (I swear, Facebook is like Twitter now!)

One of my friends, whom is a girl (and who, for the purposes of this note, shall remain nameless) had a status update asking people what they would do about a “cornball” guy who tried to holler at her online when, after rejecting him, found out that he works in the office across from hers.

Of course, people chimed in with the standard responses, basically boiling down to rejecting the guy (“personal protective order!!”). Me, I said she should not be so quick to turn the guy down, and, at the very least, go OUT with the guy on a date before completely denying him.

This got me to thinking about something: for all of the times I hear women complaining about their single status, did they ever stop to think that maybe, just MAYBE, it’s their own fault that that they’re alone?

Part of the problem is that they are so quick to pre-judge a man when they first meet him, and automatically blow him off as a potential match. They’ll see a guy, take a look up-and-down at his wardrobe, and automatically say, “nope! Not for me!”

Or: a guy will come up to them at a bar/bookstore/whateva, and say, “Hi, what’s your name?” The girl will listen to how he delivers the line and – if it’s not in accordance with how she thinks her potential mate should sound – think, “Ugh, why is this guy trying to talk to me?” and walk away before he says anything else!

To be fair, it’s understandable for a girl to reject some guys a.s.a.p.. I mean, if the dude is unkempt every time you see him, or he’s spewing out profanities at everyone around him prior to coming up to you, assumptions like “he probably doesn’t bathe” or “he’ll probably cuss me out” are fair ones to make.

What I’m talking about, though, is women that are rejecting guys who are soft-spoken (assuming he’s weak), not muscular (assuming he can’t protect you from harm), manicured up (assuming he’s gay), not driving a car or driving a beat-up car (assuming he doesn’t have money), telling corny jokes (assuming he’ll embarrass them in public) or hundreds of other things that women pre-judge a guy about being…

BEFORE ACTUALLY GETTING TO KNOW HIM!

And quite honestly, if you’re single and whining about it, I have NO sympathy for your situation. There are good guys out that YOU are rejecting for dates just because you either have a pre-conceived notion about what they’re about, or you have a list of standards that are (a) too high, and (b) you assume these guys can’t match up to – all from hearing them say “hello” or watching them walk over to you.

I’m not saying that dating these guys won’t change your opinion about them. You might think a guy is corny, and have your ideas confirmed about how corny he is when he’s sitting at dinner telling the worst jokes possible…

BUT – at least you’ll KNOW, instead of assuming it’s true.

Then again, you could end up pleasantly surprised. That guy you met wearing a bummy T-shirt and tattered jeans could end up being the richest guy in your state. He could have just been dressing that way to scare off the gold-diggers, and now YOU get the benefit of dating him!

Oh wait, that’s right – you passed that guy over, remember? You also passed over:

-The guy who said he “had no job” (because he was working at home setting up a soon-to-be multi-million dollar company)

-The guy who “lived with his mom” (turns out SHE was living with HIM ’cause she was ill – but you never let him get THAT part out)

-The guy who asked you out on a first date to a bookstore (you assumed he was cheap, when he really just wanted to see if he could carry on a conversation with you for an hour BEFORE taking you out to a fancy dinner)

You didn’t give any of these guys a chance because you wrote them off when you pre-judged them. Yet, there you sit, alone every Friday night, whining about how “you can’t find anybody” and complaining that you’re “still single.”

GET THE F–K OVER YOURSELF.

Why not try this: the next time a guy hits on you, no matter what your assumption about him is (unless, of course, that he’s an axe murder or a potential alcoholic – basically, use good judgment), instead of turning him down right away, how about agreeing to ONE date? It won’t kill you, and – at the very least – you’ll get a free meal out of it, along with a good story to tell your girlfriends!

Then again, who knows – maybe by not pre-judging a guy, you’ll finally find the happiness you were turning away all these years!

-Aaron P. Taylor