Success, Defined.

I was looking through some of the pictures of people who are “friends” of mine on Facebook (in quotations because I haven’t met all of them personally, but I clicked “accept” when they sent the friend’s invitation nonetheless).

Some of them have photos of themselves in suits or dresses, looking real nice, sitting in an office building or hanging out with work associates…

It’s funny because, I look at these people, and I just KNOW some of them aren’t happy.

Not that I’ve asked them, of course, but it’s just that…

When we are little, we’re all pretty much told the same thing: to be successful, you have to go to school, get an education, get a college degree (or a master’s, or a PH.D.), etc. Once you’ve done that, you get a job, you get to wear nice suits and, if you make the “boss” happy enough, you’ll get promoted, and get a big raise, and your life will be perfect.

So what REALLY happens?

For some people, it happens just like the above story: they do all that stuff, and are genuinely happy about their lives…

However, most people are usually shocked when, upon reaching these “successful” benchmarks, they find themselves unhappy. Sad. Miserable. And they can’t understand it – they think to themselves, “why aren’t I happy? I did everything I was supposed to do to BE successful, yet I’m still not fulfilled…”

Part of the problem is that, unbeknown to these people, they don’t realize the REAL reason they aren’t happy. And why, you ask, are they not happy?

It’s because they didn’t follow what their OWN definition of success is; instead they followed what others told them their success SHOULD be based on.

As I am typing this, I am at my “office.” Which is to say, I’m at home, wearing a pair of jean shorts, a blue surfer shirt that’s somewhat faded, and I’m by myself, not surrounded by anyone else.

And I am happy.

Why? Because, to me, MY definition of success has always been to be able to do what I want to do, where I want to do it, when I want to do it, and without the restraints I felt a regular job gives to its employees.

So, by MY definition, I am “successful.”

The way I define success may not the same way someone else defines it. Someone else might consider “success” having a big office, being a boss of others or, at the very least, being involved in something that requires working with other people. To them, my version of success might not seem all that glamorous, much in the same way that, to me, their version of success would drive me crazy.

However, the way in which people present themselves on Facebook in their pictures is oftentimes fraudulent, a facade of the way they want their life to “appear” when it’s really not that way. I see pics all the time of people dressed up, laughing and looking happy at their offices…

…yet their notes/wall writings/updates of “OMG, Another LONG day at work” and “when can I get out of this office?!” tell different tales: ones of people who aren’t really doing what they actually want to do, and are therefore not really “successful.”

And again, this could be contributed to how I define “success,” but I really believe that even if a person fronts to the world their “success” (based on how they think the world will define their success), they are never truly happy until they reach the top of the “success meter” that they themselves have defined on their own.

Just my own opinion, though

-Aaron P. Taylor

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