I was watching “106 & Park” yesterday, and they were interviewing track-running medal winners from the 2008 Olympics.  After a few regular questions - “How did it feel to win gold/silver/bronze?” or “What was it like in Beijing?” - they asked one of the participants the following para-phrased question:

“So, we hear that you turned down a bunch of multi-million dollar endorsement deals so that you could go back to school and get your degree.  What made you decide to go back to school?”

And his answer, para-phrased by me:

“Well, my Mom taught me that getting a degree is important, and I figured that if those endorsement deals are good, they’ll still be there for me once I finish college.”

I looked at the screen, and thought to myself: “Wow… what a DUMB-ASS!!”

What a friggin’ dummy!  This young guy had a chance to make a mound of millions… and he decided to go back to school?!?  WTF??

Now, those of you who know me already know that I’m not exactly the pitch man to go to when it comes to telling kids to go to school or finish up college.  Yes, I went to college and graduated, but not necessarily because I wanted to.  I went because, when I was on the verge of graduating high school, I had no idea what I wanted to do, and figured college would give me some stalling time to figure it out.

As for this guy, though, he is ALREADY skilled at something that will make him TONS of money.  And, as much as some people may not like to admit it, the only reason most of us go to school is to earn money.

“But Aaron, I’m going to school to become a lawyer/nurse/teacher so I can help people!” 

That’s great - but let me ask you: if you found out you wouldn’t be getting paid to do any of those jobs, would you still be in school learning about them?  I didn’t think so!

The reason this guy turned down the checks - the MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR checks - is because he, like millions of other kids, have been brainwashed by society into thinking that going to school is the end-all, be-all sign of success.  Consequently, when an opportunity comes along to be successful without the help of a school setting, a person’s brain will automatically get nervous and say “Man, that opportunity sure looks good.. but I just HAVE to get that degree so I can say I’m really successful.”

I. Call. BULLCRAP!!

But I understand how the brain works, so even though his decision is absolutely stupid to me, I can understand why he made it. Think about it, people: since birth, he, like the rest of us, has been told day in and day out for at least 18 years the following phrases:

“In order to be successful, you have to go to college.”

“You won’t really BE anything unless you get that diploma!”

“If you don’t go to college, you’ll break my heart (usually said by the parents, especially moms.”

“Boy, you had BETTER go to college and make me proud!”

“Remember: good grades = a better future!”

Now, if you’re hearing this kind of rhetoric over and over for 18 years straight… and then someone comes along on the day of your high school graduation and says, “Hey so-and-so, we think you have the looks/talent/skills to do such-and-such, and would like to give you MILLIONS of dollars to help us out…”

Which action do you think the person is more likely to take? The action of running with the millions and saying “Forget college, I’m RICH!” or the action of “Gee, it sounds tempting… but if I lose it, I’ll have nothing to fall back on.  Plus, I gotta make my parents proud… so I’ll turn down the offer?”

Again, it’s logic vs. training. Logically, it makes more sense to take the offer and hire an accountant to help you deal with your new income.  But training-wise, it makes more “sense” to stay on the school path, and hope that the opportunity is still good after 4 years.

Well, I got news for you: those opportunities don’t come around everyday, and there’s no guarantee they’ll be there tomorrow. 

Right now, this kid is a track SUPERSTAR.  The Olympics only ended a few weeks ago, and, contrary to what this kid thinks, just because he’s getting these offers now doesn’t mean he’ll have them again after he graduates.  Heck, he might not get them again until 4 years from now when the next summer Olympics start - that’s usually when they start showing commercials on TV again featuring past Olympic athletes.

But even with those future opportunities being there, you never know what will happen during those four years.  He could go back to school, and get hit by a bus on his very first day back to class, fracturing his legs to the point of permanent damage.  Now he won’t be able to run in any of those commercials he was once being sought for, and all his endorsement deals could be taken away from the table.

Look, people: I’m not saying education isn’t important.  What I AM saying, though, is that people need to get it out of their heads that going to college is the ONLY way to be a smashing success in life. 

Millions of people have avoided the whole “college” thing and been uber-successful; millions of people have also finished up college, and are nowhere near as successful or making as much money as they were told they’d make as a result of going. Yet, these same people will advocate the same rhetoric - “Go to school and be somebody” - because it’s all they ever heard growing up, and it’s the only advice they know how to give.

It all boils down to knowing when you have a good opportunity right there in front of you, and taking it THEN, not at some future date when the opportunity may or may not be around.

As for this track star: what a DUMBASS. 

Even if he DID want to go back to school, he could have taken a semester or two off, done six months of endorsement deals, and had a clean ride for the rest of his time in school.  You can always go back to school, but you can’t get your youth back, and you can’t always get back offers being given to you in the now.

Dumb-ass.

-Aaron P. Taylor

Recently, former Presidential candidate hopeful John Edwards came out and admitted to cheating on his wife, Elizabeth, almost two years ago with a person who, ironically enough, was helping with his campaign. 

As if the cheating part wasn’t bad enough, Mr. Edwards did it at a time when his wife was dealing with cancer.  Apparently all that kemotherapy must have left her feeling not-too-frisky - good thing his camera lady was around to help out in the sexual favor department!

I wasn’t going to write anything on this subject - after all, politians cheating on their wives isn’t really anything new - but then I saw Mrs. Edwards on the cover of PEOPLE magazine. In the article, they quote friends as saying that when John told her what he had done, it was humiliating - of course - but that, since they had been married for 30 years, she decided to stay and work it out, rather than leave him, mess up his campaign, and possibly ruin the lives of their children.

Aww, doesn’t that sound sweet?  Isn’t it great that she’s able to look past his cheating ways and stick it out with him?

Well, if it were somebody else writing this post, the answer would probably be “yes.” As for me, I’d have left the sorry bastard on the footsteps of the house right after I slapped his sorry face and kicked him out the door with my size 11 Adidas’!

Let me make something perfectly clear: I am all for forgiveness.  I grew up in the church where I was taught to forgive others for their sins, and would have no problem doing so.

HOWEVER…

If I’m married to a woman who suddenly decides she just has to lie with another man to get her proverbial “rocks” off (or whatever the correct term is for when a woman gets a strong feeling of sexual satisfaction), I don’t care HOW long I’ve been with her, be it 1, 6, 13 or 47 years - she’s OUT!

Now, someone may read this and think: “Hold on, Aaron!  That’s not fair!  You have to give her credit for thinking of the family, and…”

And why should I?  Heck, why should SHE, for that matter?  Was Mr. Edwards thinking about his family when his Lil’ Edwards was parking his car in the garage of another woman??  The whole “thinking of family” thing goes both ways, ya know!

Besides, why SHOULD I stay with a spouse who cheats on me?  A marriage is partially about being able to trust the person you’re with.  Once somebody goes out and cheats on you, that trust is broken. Gone. It’s a WRAP!

Think about how Mrs. Edwards has to live her life now: she’s dealing with cancer, has 2 kids to raise… and now, to add to it, every time her husband says to her, “I’ve got a meeting up on Capitol Hill today, honey,” she has to sit there and ponder if he’s REALLY going to a meeting, or to some other skanky tramp’s bordello to do the nasty!

Don’t think she’s not thinking that, people!

But she’s not the first woman (or man) to be placed in this situation.  People may see this and, like me, want her to leave him.  So why, then, do so many women stay after finding out their spouse has cheated?  When a woman has sex with a man, a chemical called “Oxycotin” is released that makes her feel extremely close to him, often to the point of clingyness.  The more times a couple has sex, the more this chemical gets released, making her become more and more close to the man.

Unfortunately, this also has a negative affect: when her man does something that’s stupid, harmful, or downright untrustworthy, the woman, having been bonded with this person, finds it extremely hard to rip that bond apart.  This is why women will lie, make up excuses, or often put up with a man’s crap - that dang Oxycotin got them so sprung off their man, they can’t spring themselves into the act of leaving him!

Some men have this problem, too, but for them it has more to do with self-esteem: they fear they won’t be able to get another woman if they leave the one that’s wronged them, and they don’t want to admit to friends and family that they made a poor decision in choosing a mate.  Rest assured, I have NO such problem with leaving any woman at the drop of a hat who would even DARE cheat on me, insult me, call me out of name, or anything else that proves their lack of respect for me. 

As for the Edwards’,  John should be ashamed of himself for cheating… but, in my opinion, Mrs. Edwards should be even MORE ashamed for sticking around!  I only hope her daughter doesn’t follow her example in the future - women should have more pride in themselves than that!

-Aaron P. Taylor

Now that I’m 26, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend: people around my age start living in the world of “reality.” 

It’s the world of 9-to-5 jobs that are unsatisfying, marriages that aren’t all that happy, and sad lives slowly wasting away as the dreams people once had become nothing more than unfulfilled fantasies that they no longer try to go after.

And it’s all very, very depressing to me.

I was a theater major while at Hampton University, and all my fellow thespians had the same dream: to become famous and make it big in some aspect of the entertainment field (theater, movies, commercials, music, etc.).  That was back in 2000 when we were all freshman with idealized thoughts about how easy it would be for us to land parts on stage or in film.

Fast-forward 8 years later, and many of those same people are not doing anything involving entertainment.  Instead of becoming that great actress, they’ve settled for being a teacher (and, as I always say, those that don’t know, teach!).  Instead of traveling the world, they’ve become young parents who use raising their children as an excuse to not pursue their own dreams.  Instead of being a touring musician, they’ve put all their musical instruments into the attic, and replaced them with a tie, a briefcase, and 8 hours-a-day of pure torture.

If only these people hadn’t given up so fast!  Many of my peers had such potential when I saw them in plays, or doing dance routines or music sessions, that it just sucks to see that they’ve fallen into the trap that so many people fall into: the “That dream I had can’t possibly come true” trap that is detrimental to their own beings.

People don’t realize how much God will help them out if they only keep going at it.  They don’t like to wait for results; they figure, if they can’t achieve their dream within the first few tries, they might as well throw in the towel and forget what they really wanted to do in exchange for a “secure” job.  Have you SEEN the job market today?  Companies are downsizing employees left and right - you’d have a better shot at so-called “security” by taking your talent and marketing it the right way than to sit at your job praying you don’t get fired!

But hey, if you don’t believe you can do it, just look at me.  A few months ago I was a guy who wanted to get his music out there.  A few years ago, I was running around Philly and Richmond, taking my demo to radio stations and asking them to play just ONE of my songs on the air, even if only for a quick second or during one of their 2 AM “nobody’s up listening to us” shows. 

Now, I’ve got a song on radio (my Lil’ Wayne “A Milli” remake, “Obama, Obama”) that’s playing throughout the U.S. and on international radio.  INTERNATIONAL, people!!.  The song has been playing on BBC radio in the U.K., and nightclubs in Germany.  My classmates back at Hampton University would have never thought that was even possible.  I never knew if it would happen either, but I always had the dream of getting at least ONE of my songs on at least ONE radio station - which goes to prove my other point: if you follow your dream, you never know how big that dream will get realized. 

But you’ll never even get a small taste of success if you listen to everybody who says you can’t do it, or decide to doubt yourself and follow what everyone else is doing simply because it seems “normal.”  Normal isn’t always a good thing; in fact, oftentimes it’s BORING, non-challenging, and will keep you in a rut. 

So, if you have a talent, and you think you could make a living doing that talent, STOP WASTING TIME NOT BELIEVING IN YOURSELF AND GO DO IT.

This message has been brought to you, in part, by “The A.P.T. LP” - Coming Sunday, August 24 to my music website, www.aptsongs.wordpress.com.  Yes, I’m advertising here, because I have an ALBUM coming out that people want to actually BUY.  See what dreaming big can do for you?

-Aaron P. Taylor

I hate dealing with Black people.

Perhaps the statement I just made sounds like self-racism, but you’d be wrong.  I’m black, I grew up in a loving Black family, went to a historically Black college, and - up to this point - have only been with Black women.  I love the Black community, I love my Black heritage, and I love nothing more than seeing our people succeed.

BUT…

There is ONE place where I absolutely, 100% hate, hate, HATE dealing with people of my own race: fine-dining restaurants.

Currently, I have a part-time job at an upscale restaurant, where about 75% of the clientele is in the upper-middle class tax bracket.  The majority of those people know how to conduct themselves while in the restaurant. 

Unfortunately, most of those people are NOT Black.

In fact, in the restaurant industry as a whole, most servers are quick to automatically frown or get upset whenever they are sat with a family that’s Black, Jewish, or foreign.  Why?  Because we already know they are going to be difficult in some way, and leave a bad tip.

Some people may consider that stereotyping in advance.  I say, try working at a restaurant for even 6 months, and you’ll find out just how true most stereotypes involving Black people’s conduct in these places really is!

To be fair, it’s not completely our fault.  For 3/4 of the last century, Black people could hardly get a job in an upscale restaurant, let alone eat in them.  The current generation of Black people couldn’t be taught proper restaurant ettiquette because the previous generation wasn’t able to learn it.  Now that they have access to these upper-dining facilities, they go in using the same style of manner they used at home - and, apparently, no one in these homes knew of proper ettiquette either.

But fear not, Black people!  I am here to help you all by giving you a list of things you can fix so that when you go into a restaurant, servers will start to be happy when they see you, instead of trying to auction off who gets your table (and BELIEVE me, they talk about ALL customers behind their backs, and if you’re known for being difficult, NOBODY wants to serve you).

#1: NO TALKING ON THE PHONE

I always found talking on the phone in a restaurant to be rude, especially when you’re on a date or have company with you.  However, it’s even MORE rude when your server is trying to take your order, but isn’t able to because you’re talking to someone else.  This may not seem like a big deal, Black people, but when your server has 4 or 5 other tables, they’re trying to keep it moving so they can get to all of them; you stalling them up by talking on the phone isn’t helping!

#2: ASK, DON’T DEMAND, FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

Proper dining ettiquette includes asking your server for something, not demanding they get it or stating your request in a way that sounds ignorant.   For example: let’s say you want to drink a sweet tea. The proper way to request for it would be, “May I get a sweet tea to drink, please?” 

However, the way most Black patrons ask for their drinks - if you can even call it “asking” - is, “Yo, let me get a sweet tea.”  Um, how about PLEASE and THANK YOU, you moron!  Yes, servers know they have to get whatever it is you want, regardless of how you ask for it, but they are people too, and would at least like being recognized as such with some manners!

#3: DON’T ARGUE ABOUT THE PRICE OF THE FOOD.

You knew the restaurant you were going to wasn’t McDonalds.  Furthermore, you had a chance to look at the menu before you even sat down at your table so you could see what the prices were.

Therefore, don’t ask the server why a steak dinner is going to cost you $30! A fine-dining restaurant isn’t a place for negotiation.  It’s a BUSINESS, and, like any other business, it has established its prices based on tons of research.  Yet, for some reason, Black people just HAVE to try and figure out a way to pay less than what others are paying.  If you don’t like the prices, either stay at home or go some place more affordable for your budget.  And hey, the server didn’t set the prices, so STOP asking them if they can change it!

#4: DON’T ORDER THINGS NOT ON THE MENU.

If you go to a restaurant where everything is grilled or baked, don’t go in there asking if they can fry you some chicken.  If you go to a vegetarian establishment, don’t get all mad when you can’t order any lamb.  They say “the customer is always right,” but the restaurant isn’t going to put itself on hold to try and get you an item they don’t even serve to justify your request.

#5: IF YOU’RE WITH A LARGE GROUP, ARRIVE AT THE SAME.

Nothing pisses your server off more than finding out she’s going to have a party of 14 people… and only 6 have arrived.

That means she has to keep going back and forth to the table to check and see when the entire group has arrived.  It also means she has to stay at the restaurant longer, depending on how long it takes for the rest of the group to get there. 

Black people are notorious for doing this.  Yes, we all think it’s funny that CP time is rampant throughout our community, but servers hate that crap.  Get there at the same time, ON TIME. You’ll get better service that way, instead of a server who’s mad you kept her there longer than scheduled.

#6: NO. SEPERATE. CHECKS. (Especially in large groups.)

Whenever I see a large party of white people, the final check is usually paid by ONE person about 80% of the time.  If they do get the check seperated, it’s usually split between two or three people.

Whenever I see a large party of BLACK people?!?  Almost EVERYBODY wants a seperate check, about 95% of the time. 

That crap is just plain annoying. In many fine-dining establishments, any parties of 6 or more are automatically grated 18%, but the receipt has to be signed off by a manager.  If a party decides to get seperate checks, EACH RECEIPT STILL HAS TO GET SIGNED.  This slows down the amount of time it takes for the server to get the final bills back to the table, especially when 18 seperate checks have to be accounted for.

If you and your friends know in advance that you’re going to go out to eat, do your server a favor: give ONE person all the cash BEFORE you enter the restaurant, and make life easier on them!

#7: YOUR 10% GRATUITY SUCKS.

If you’re like most Black people, you grew up going to a Christian church where you had to tithe weekly. And what is the mantra most Black people learned?  “Give 10% of your earnings to God.” 

This is a great lesson to learn when it comes to giving… at Church.  At restaurants?  It just makes you look cheap, and makes no one want to serve you in the future.

Part of the problem is that people have this assumption that all the money they tip gets kept by the server.  WRONG!  At the end of the night, a server has to give a portion of their tip money (anywhere between 1.5% - 5% of their net sales) to the bussers, food runners, and bar tender. 

So, let’s say you have a $50 meal, and only tip $5.  At the place I work, tip-out is 4.5% of the net sales - or, in this case, 4.5% of $50, which is $2.25.  Therefore, out of that $5 tip you gave, I only get to keep $2.75. 

This is why your server hates you, along with all other Black people.  Most people outside our race (mostly White people) know about this tipping rule, which is why they usually tip 18%-20%.  In the same scenario, a 20% tip - i.e. $10 - would still be tipped out at the same 4.5% ($2.25), yet I’d walk with $7.75 instead of $2.75 because the tipping percentage was higher.

Bottom line: if you can’t tip higher than 10%, go eat fast-food or STAY AT HOME.

#8: STOP BEING SO DAMN LOUD.

Black people who aren’t used to eating at an upscale place are usually the loudest people when they finally DO decide to eat at one.  They are so used to eating at places where background music and/or TVs make it necessary for them to be loud that they end up using the same volume in fine-dining establishments.

NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR CONVERSATION!!  I don’t care how funny a joke is, the people at the next table don’t want to hear you laughing, or slapping your knee, or see you almost fall out your chair.  And the people you’re talking to are all at the same table - yelling shouldn’t be necessary!!

#9: DON’T SEND BACK AN ORDER UNLESS SOMETHING IS REALLY WRONG.

I was at work one day, and one of the other servers was mad because a Black lady at his table sent back a salad.  Why? Because she didn’t like the look of the bowl the salad came in.  It’s not that the bowl itself was dirty - she just didn’t like how the bowl was shaped.

STOP DOING THIS, BLACK PEOPLE!  Again, your server has other table to attend to.  If you’re sending back food simply because you don’t like how a dish looks, or you changed your mind about what you wanted just as it was being brought to you, you’re wasting your server’s time, and messing with their money.

#10: DON’T STAY/COME INTO THE RESTAURANT PAST CLOSING TIME.

The restaurant is not a night club.  If the place closes at 10 PM, try to finish your meal and get out by 9:55 PM. 

Yes, we know the restaurant still has to serve you if you’re in before the actual closing time.  But really, get the f–k out - by the end of the night most servers are tired of dealing with people and either want to go to a bar and drink or go home.  And you’re holding them up.

And if you haven’t made it to the restaurant up to one half-hour before the place is set to close, don’t even THINK about going to it.  Again, if the place closes at 10 PM, don’t drive up at 9:55 PM wanting to eat.  Yes, you can still technically go in to eat, but rest assured, your server will hate you for it and give you less-than-stellar service.

—

Lastly - and this has been a HUGE pet peeve of mine for the longest - STOP ORDERING YOUR STEAKS WELL-DONE.

Most black people - myself included - grew up believing that you had to get a steak cooked well-done to kill off any hazardous germs still lurking inside the dead animal we want to eat.  In actuality, the majority of those germs are actually on the OUTSIDE part of the meat.  Those germs get grilled/seared off when the steak is first pressed.  Furthermore, all the blood inside the meat is boiled up to the point where any of those germs get killed off.

In short: A STEAK WITH A LITTLE BIT OF RED OR PINK WON’T KILL YOU.  Try ordering it in the medium-rare - to - medium-well range - it keeps the flavor of the steak from being burnt away.  And, if you DO order it well-done, don’t send it back because it (a) still has a smaaaaall amount of pink, or (b) tastes burnt - you ordered it well-done, what did you THINK was going to happen?!?

—

So, Black people, if you decide to eat out at a fine-dining restaurant, please remember the tips above, and remember to tip above 10%.!

-Aaron P. Taylor

The news media was in an uproar this past week over the most recent cover of The New Yorker, which portrayed Presidential hopeful Barack Obama and his wife Michelle dressed up in terrorist clothing, packing guns and ammo while standing inside the White House giving each other a “fist dap.”

As a Black man who cares deeply about how the Obamas are viewed during this crucial moment in electorial history… I found the cover to be downright hilarious!!  When it comes to satiring the various misconceptions about Obama, this cover nailed it right on the head.

Now, some people will read what I’ve just typed and say, “Oh boy, Aaron, you’ve got it all WRONG this time.  That cover was offensive, not only to Black people, but to Obama and his campaign, who have tried so dilligently to show that Obama IS pro-American, and not all the things people may believe about him!”

Oh, if only it were so simple.

It’s 2008, and even though some people like to believe that racism and unfair treatment are nowhere near as bad as it was “back in the day,” the reality is that those issues still bubble below the surface - they’re just more subtle and less outspoken than they once were. 

For example: Obama, who is Black (note: yes, he’s mixed, but in this country you’re considered black if the overall tone of your skin would make people assume you’re black when first looking at you), has tried from day one to not make his race a campaign issue. 

Guess what?  He didn’t have to - the news media did it for him! 

In the past few months alone, CNN and other outlets have done full half-hour to hour-long specials concerning Barack’s “blackness,” asking the tough questions like: “Is He Black Enough for Black voters?”; “Will he turn white voters away?”; and, of course, the oh-so-popular, “Is America Ready for a Black President?”

Funny - I never see any specials called “John McCain: Is America Ready for ANOTHER War President?” or “John McCain: Will His Oldness Get in the Way of His Leadership?”

Then, of course, the issue of his religion was brought up.  First, the media speculated that he might be Muslim, and pumped fear into people that, were he a practicer of this religion, he would be a sympathizer with countries harboring terrorist.  That’s like saying because I’m a Christian who disagrees with the gay lifestyle, I automatically applaud those out to bomb gay clubs!   What kind of dumb logic is THAT?!?

Obama said he wasn’t Muslim, and the media STILL tried to press that he was one, albeit a “secret” one.  That myth got slightly debunked when his now former pastor, Reverend Wright, came out and made what many considered to be controversial statements about… well, pick a subject: White people, AIDS, religion, etc.  The media was quick to suggest that Reverend Wright’s “outrageous” views might also be those of Barack, the now secret Muslim AND closet biggot.

Man oh man, has the media been having fun with THIS guy!

Then, to top it all off, Obama wins the Democratic nomination.  He greets his wife onstage at the victory celebration, and what do they do? They give each other a hug and then a fist “dap”, i.e. a high-five where, instead of using an open palm, fists are used and lightly bumped up against each other.  To anybody watching this exchange who’s ever had a group of friends they exchanged various types of greetings with, this act was practically off the radar.

Then FOX News went and took the footage to a whole other level.  Was it a fist bump? A light dap? Or, was it - and I’m completely NOT making this dialogue up - “A Terrorist Fist Jab??” 

A TERRORIST FIST JAB?!?  FOX “News” should be ashamed of itself!!  It’s bad enough Obama has to deal with all the crap thrown at him over other dumb stuff - to even joke at something like that with a serious tone was just downright disrespectful!! 

Not only that, but it adds to the fear many White Americans have about having a Black man in the White House: that he’ll be dangerous and unhealthy for the country.  Even now, today, in 2008, when White people are polled about the candidates, many of them still express doubt about whether a Black person is really the right kind of person to be up in the White House. 

I’ve seen interviews where elder White People are still expressing their racist attitudes, going so far as to say dumb stuff like, “I won’t vote for him because his middle name is Hussein,” a reference to the former Iraqi leader who dominated his country with fear.  How the heck are you going to compare Obama to an Iraqi figurehead who (a) he’s never met, (b) is dead, and (c) he’s not even related to?!?

With all of the stuff the media has said and/or done to try and sabatoge the “Yes We Can” express, it’s a bit hypocritcal for them to come back and scold The New Yorker for printing a cover showing Barack and Michelle Obama as terrorists running the White House.  All they’re doing is showing the media what they’ve been telling us all along.  If anything, the media should be sending the magazine a thank-you card for helping to promote their ideals about Obama.

On second thought, maybe the media is just mad that the cover makes them all look pretty stupid.

-Aaron P. Taylor

You know what annoys me?  When people who aren’t in a position to speak about something try to advise others how to do something they themselves haven’t done or aren’t doing.

I woke up this morning and turned on ABC’s “Good Morning America,” where a woman named Mellody Hobson was giving tips on how a person can retire by age 65 with $1,000,000 in the bank.  I’m already looking at this report like it’s going to be a bunch of bull because (a) she wasn’t old, and (b) she didn’t have a million dollars saved up.  That’s two strikes, and she hadn’t even opened her mouth yet!

She basically reiterated the same techniques I’ve heard time and time again.  To save time, here’s a short list:

• If you’re 25, save $75 a week in a mutual fund with 8% return, and you’ll have a milli by the time you’re 65
• Contribute money to your company’s 401(k) plan so they’ll match your amount and help you earn more money for retirement
• Focus on putting more money in your retirement fund and less on putting it in your kid’s college education fund
• If you’re 45 or 55 and haven’t been saving since 25, you can still make a million - you just have to contribute more per month (say, somewhere between $1500 to $5500 of your earnings) to have that money by 65
• Consider working past 65 so your retirement fund will be even higher
• Be dilligent about how you spend every dollar

All these techniques, though, have two things in common: they lean heavily towards the idea of “saving” for wealth, and they make you wait WAY too long to enjoy the money!

This lady has NO idea what she’s talking about!!  Okay, let me rephrase that: she has SOME idea of what she’s talking about - it’s just that most of it isn’t going to be helpful.  Here’s why:

1. Saving money now to be spent later WOULD be a great idea, if it weren’t for the fact that economic inflation makes future money worth LESS than today’s money.  Think of it in this way: 10 years ago, you could have filled up a 12-gallon gas tank for $15.  If you had decided to save that money in a mutual fund account in 1998, you would now have $31.81.  However, if you tried to use this money to fill your 12-gallon tank now, guess what?  At $4.11 per gallon, you’d only be able to get 7.5 gallons into your car!
2. By the time a person turns 65, they’ll have additional expenses they may not have had in their younger days.  Medicare, doctor expenses, pills, surgeries, hospital stays, nursing homes, and a plethora of other things can pop up at an older age that the younger version of yourself may not have thought about, and a million dollars can be spent up pretty quickly!
3. Even if you attempt to do what she says and “save, save, save,”  life can always throw a curveball that makes saved money become obsolete.  Got money in your company’s 401(k)?  If the company goes belly-up, they might not have to pay you at all!  Invested in stocks?  A catastrophe like 9-11 or Katrina can completely cause them to be wiped out.

What I hate most about her tips, though, is that they make a person wait TOO long to get a million dollars!  Now, I’m no millionaire myself, but I read books by people who ARE millionaires and/or billionaires - T. Harv Eker, Donald Trump, Russell Simmons, Robert Kiyosaki - and all of them have one very important thing in common:

THEY DIDN’T WAIT UNTIL THEY WERE 65 TO BECOME FRIGGIN’ MILLIONAIRES!!

Why? Because they knew that simply saving up money wasn’t going to make them rich.  They knew in order to get rich, they had to figure out ways to make their money work for them, even at times when they weren’t physically working themselves. 

People may think they’re doing this when they put their money into accounts that help their money gain interest; in reality, stocks and mutual funds are the lazy man’s way of accelerating money.  The people whose names I listed above started businesses, obtained real estate, created products, all with the goal of using their ideas to double, triple, or quadruple their earnings.

This woman also doesn’t mention another important thing: that working soley for the benefit of yourself will NOT make you rich.  Wealth is the result of figuring out how you can help the most number of people possible while charging money for your services. 

A guy like Robert Kiyosaki can write a book called “Rich Dad, Poor Dad,” and become rich because his book helps others figure out what they’re doing wrong with money.  In the process of helping MILLIONS of others, he also makes money off the book.  A person going to work everyday in the hopes of saving up money for retirement is only helping themselves (and their company - but it doesn’t count because, as an employee, you CAN be replaced if you mess up), and therefore can’t make their money grow as fast.

So, my advice on how to become rich is this: don’t listen to people who aren’t rich on how to become rich.  Read books by people who ARE rich and study their moves so you can retire early enough to enjoy your money and all life has to offer.  If you’re fortunate enough, you just might be able to have lots of cash to spend BEFORE you hit 65!

-Aaron P. Taylor

The music industry’s downard spiral was momentarily lifted a couple of weeks ago when Lil’ Wayne’s newest CD, “Tha Carter III,” sold over 1 million copies in its first week.  Although the CD got mixed reviews, it was agreed upon by almost everyone that the sales were well-deserved, given all the hard work Mr. Carter has been putting in for the past 10 years.

I, too, was one of the many people that got Lil’ Wayne’s CD.  I’d never been a big fan of his or bought any of his other CDs, but I’ll be the first to admit I bought it purely on hype alone.  Lucky for me, I actually like the CD, and didn’t feel bad about using my money to support him

That is, until I went on YouTube a couple of days ago, and was reminded of what it is I was supporting…

In the video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JiiroDHN5EQ), the girl speaks about her distaste for Lil’ Wayne, not so much for his music, but for the stuff he’s done OUTSIDE of his music.  She does make a few valid claims for her disliking, especially when it comes to his recent arrests and court cases, most of which were the result of him being busted for various narcotics violations.  Specifically, he possessed:

• 41 grams of extacy
• 4 ounces of marijuana
• 1 or more ounces of cocaine

I looked up these facts myself, and these charges, which stem from 3 months ago, were true.  Not only that, but I also found out he’s been arrested for similar charges over the years as well as weapons possession charges.

All of which begs me to ask the question: are we partially responsible for funding his drug habit, along with those of other celebrities?

It’s a catch-22 because its not like anyone is handing celebrities money and saying, “Here you go - now, go spend this cash on drugs or we’ll take it back!”  On the other hand, doesn’t the fact that we know a celebrity is using a portion of their money to buy drugs make us a part of the problem?

I think back to stars like Elvis, Chris Farley, John Belushi, and others from the past that died from drug overdoses.  All of these stars may or may not have been doing drugs prior to becoming financially successful, but it’s very clear that they were able to buy even more drugs once the public got wind of their talent and started paying them tons of money for it to be displayed. 

And since these people were now public figures, it was headline news that these people were into numerous narcotic recreation.  They were publically repremanded for their drug use, and yet, at the same time, their talent was still in such high demand, the public continued to support them financially.

So, in effect, we are partially responsible for prolonging these artists’ drug habits. 

Some people may read this and think, “that’s a bunch of crap, Aaron!  Just because I spend a few measily bucks on a CD or concert of an artist I enjoy, that doesn’t make me a supporter of their habit - it just makes me a supporter of their talent!”

You have to understand, though, that the two things are connected.  For example, let’s suppose Lil’ Wayne’s royalty off each CD he sells is $.50 (this, by the way, is a lowball estimate - since he’s been on the same label for 10 years, he could be making as much as $1.25 per CD sold).  You, me, and 999,998 other people go and buy his CD the first week out. 

Financial windfall to Lil’ Wayne: $500,000. 

And that’s just the first week.  His album sold 309,000 in the second week - also known as another $154,000 in his pocket.

In two weeks’ time, that’s over $800,000.  Even if he has to use some of that money for album and lawyer fees, he’s still walking with at least $300,000.  Add in the money he gets for guest appearances, concerts, and endorsements, and he has a LOT of people putting money in his pocket - money that he is able to go out and use on narcotics, weapons, and cough syrup!

To be fair, most people are usually so wrapped up in their own interest, they don’t always think about how what they are doing will affect someone else’s lifestyle, be it positively or negatively.  I bought Lil’ Wayne’s CD because I had heard some of the songs off it and decided I wanted to listen to more.  In the process of doing that, though, it didn’t even enter into my mind that I’d be helping to support his negative habits, activities that I myself have never partaken in and wouldn’t directly encourage others to do.

That’s just some food for thought, people.  We have to remember that the entertainers we give our money to do not always do the right things with those funds, and as such we should be more cautious about what we’re REALLY supporting when we give our cash to them, be it directly or indirectly.

-Aaron P. Taylor

Above: My YouTube music video for “Obama, Obama,” a remake of Lil’ Wayne’s “A Milli” that’s currently getting radio station play throughout the country.

Aside from being a blog fanatic, I am also a studier of musical trends.  I make my own music, and I also pay close attention to what artists are popular in the mainstream and why they are able to succeed while others cannot.

One of the gripes many up-and-coming artists have is, they can’t understand how what they considered to be “watered-down” music - hip-hop, R&B, pop-rock, etc. - is able to get on the radio.  They feel like the stuff they’re creating is more “real” (then again, don’t ALL artists feel that way??), and are baffled when they take their songs to radio stations, only to hear the words “yeah, your song is great… but we can’t put it into our rotation.”

If only these artists were able to get a grasp of the WHOLE picture.

The radio aspect of the music industry has never been about playing what’s “real” to you, or what could be considered “conscious, thought-provoking” music.  It’s about one thing: selling advertisements on the air. 

The songs that play around these ads are the “bait” used by radio stations to get people to listen to on-air sponsors.  The money these sponsers spend at these radio stations help them generate enough revenue to keep their doors open.  However, in order to get these sponsers to want to spend their money in the first place, they have to make sure the music they are playing gives them a big enough audience to warrent doing business with.

So, let’s look at it from a radio station’s perspective, shall we? 

New songs by Usher, Lil’ Wayne or Mariah Carey come out on the same day.  These artists are well-known enough that a radio station doesn’t give a second thought to playing their songs on the air.  They are constantly in the media, and generate high enough interest that people will listen to their song when it comes on the radio. 

The result?  The potential consumer will keep their dial on whatever radio station is playing one of those songs, giving said ad company a better shot at having their ad heard.

But then, an unknown artist walks into the radio station and says, “Hey, everybody, check it out - I have a song that’s WAY better than any of those OTHER artist, and it has a message, too!”  The radio programmer agrees to listen to your song, fully expecting to hate it.  Turns out, he actually likes the song, but he still decides not to play it.

The artist thinks to himself: “But… I THOUGHT he liked it!! Why won’t they play it??”

The answer: they haven’t generated enough interest outside of themself or the programmer to warrent them playing the song on radio.  This new artist is untested, and there’s a chance that if their song is put into rotation, potential customers who listen to the station will hear the first line of the song, and say: “Hey… who is this person?? I wanted to hear that new Usher!!”

Next thing you know, they flip over to another radio station, while the one they just turned from loses potential earnings from an ad the person will now miss.

—

Now, is this fair?  Not really - but who said the world is a fair place?

The reality is, radio stations exist to make money.  If you or your favorite underground artists aren’t being played on the radio, it’s because there isn’t enough interest built in what you’re doing for stations to consider you a ”safe bet,” i.e. a money-generating artist.

Part of the fault lies on artists themselves.  Many of them like to act like being a commercial artists means creating crappy dumb-downed music so it can appeal to the masses.  That’s not the case.  Being a commercial artists simply means that an extremely large group of people like your stuff. Eminem and DMX are great examples of two artists who came out not really trying to conform to what was considered “safe” and “normal” music standards, yet sold millions of records.

In both their cases, even though their music topics may have not been safe, the way in which they presented their material was VERY radio ready.  Eminem had sing-songy choruses, while DMX had songs you could easily turn into a chant.  If you think back to that potential consumer listening to the radio, these types of songs are very easy for them to sing along to.  A person is more likely to listen to a song they can connect with via sing along verses a more meaningful song that they can’t understand.

Think about it: it took artists like Common and Talib Kweli YEARS to even sell gold, yet Kanye West and Soulja Boy went platinum with their first album.  The difference?  The first two artists were so focused on sounding “deep” with their fast-delivery rhymes and out-of-the-box concepts, they forgot that people outside of rap might need a song they can say the words to.  Consequently, they didn’t get much radio play.

On the other hand, the latter two artists’ first song releases were sing-songy, could be easily duplicated, and had snappy lines and/or dance moves associated with them that made people feel good. Consequently, they both had #1 singles that helped their albums sell over a million or more.

If you’re a new artist, it’s already going to be tough breaking your song out on radio.  The last thing you need to do is hurt your chances even more by going against the mainstream, or not knowing how to structure your songs OR market yourself.  It’s okay to be different, but there’s a difference between being different and just plain WEIRD.

As 50 Cent once said, music is made to be shared with others.  If you’re not making your music for others to listen to, keep it in your basement.  Otherwise, how else do you expect it to play on radio?  Try and create songs that others will find enjoyable.  Then, go to clubs and perform it, get DJs to play it, post a video for the songs on video-sharing sites, and, once you’ve generated some interest, try and go back to the radio station and get it played. 

But don’t “dare to be different” and then get all mad when your local station doesn’t want to play you.  If you aren’t helping them get money, they really have no reason to play your song.  Even though you consider yourself an “artist,” you must always keep one thing in mind:

In the world of radio, it’s business, not personal.

-Aaron P. Taylor

Las week I watched the “Alvin and the Chipmunks” movie on DVD. The movie itself was ok at best (and I’m glad I didn’t spend money seeing it in the theatre), but there was something I noticed - and chances are, if you’re black, you’ve seen this hundreds of times…

There’s a scene in the movie where the Chipmunks, having sung so much that their throats are sore, are being checked by a doctor - specifically, a black woman doctor who’s slightly overweight. After checking their tonsils, the overbearing white manager asks if they’ll be able to sing at the concert that evening.

The black overweight nurse turns to him, and says something to the effect of “they need to stay home.” However, the way she said it, along with the look of “what the hell is this fool thinkin’” on her face, is the same line delivery I’ve seen hundreds of black women on-screen over and over again.

And it’s starting to get to me.

I didn’t really start noticing it until a few years ago, but in almost every movie or TV show involving a majority white cast, the one or two black people in the movie usually have the following characteristics:

• 9 times out of 10 it’s usually a black woman (more on why this is a problem later)
• The woman in question is usually slightly overweight and has a sassy, sarcastic attitude
• Her facial expressions involve her looking pissed off at being in her environment in the first place

A person who is white may not even notice this, and if not, I completely understand. After all, they’re not black. Therefore, they may not necessarily be looking at the nuances of the black characters in the program they’re watching.

However, I invite you to look back on a few instances where you may remember what I’m saying to be true. For example:

• On the TV show “Becker” with Ted Danson. Who’s one of the assistance in his office? The slightly overweight black chick with the sassy attitude who’s always looking pissed off!
• In the movie “Stranger than Fiction” with Will Ferrell and Emma Thompson. Who’s the person that is hired to help get Emma’s character out of her writing slump? Surprise - it’s Queen Latifah, playing an editor who’s sassy and always looking pissed off!
• On the TV show “Sex and the City” - there’s an episode in season 6 where Mr. Big gets heart surgery. When he wakes up in the hospital, who’s the nurse that’s taking care of him? Oh my gosh - it’s a slightly overweight black chick with a sassy attitude who’s snapping one-liners back and forth with Mr. Big!

I could go on and on with a list of instances where the Sassy Black Chick shows up, but I’d end up getting carpel tunnel syndrome!

But what does this say about how black people are viewed by the rest of America?

For one, it says that, given the option, white people would rather deal with a black woman than a black man - again, the majority of these programs/movies with only one or two black roles are, more often than not, going to women.

The black man in America - and yes, this is the part where I get to sound like a guy on a soapbox - has been demoralized so much, society makes it seem that it would be better were we not existant in the first place. When was the last time you could go a whole week without hearing about a black man being:

1. Arrested
2. A Deadbeat Dad
3. Smoking/Selling Illegal Narcotics
4. Abusive
5. Gay (note: this last one technically regulates a black man to the “female” category in terms of other races feeling safe around him - but he can still get a mug shot for doing the wrong thing in the wrong place)

Because of this, casting directors would much rather put a black woman in the role that a black man could just as easily play - minus the makeup and dress, of course.

Secondly, it sends a message that all of our people are overweight. I don’t have a problem with overweight people being on TV; what I DO have a problem with, though, is when that’s the ONLY type of woman I’m seeing. (Well, that, and the skinny-but-big-butted constantly needing sex vixens on BET - but we’re talking about what girls are being cast in predominately WHITE shows, people!)

And why does she always have to be the smart-aleck in the group? I know lots of sexy size-6  to size-16 women who are smart, intelligent, funny, and very nice to people, and don’t go around with this “why the hell is everyone so messed up but me” look on their face - yet that’s all I tend to see when I’m watching these white shows!

Is this how White America really views us? Could it possibly be that the only black people white people come into contact with are ones that are always acting like they have a chip on their shoulder?

And most importantly - do they EVER run into a positive example of a black MALE, one that could be used more often in TV shows and movies??

I don’t really have an answer to any of these questions - it’s just my own curiosity, and some food for thought. All I can say for sure is, I’d like to be able to turn on a TV program with a mixed-race cast of people, and not have to see the same stereotypes played out over and over: the smart Asian, the jock white athlete, the sexed-crazed Mexican, the Jew who always talks like the stereotypical Jewish person…

…and that mother-friggin’ sassy black chick!!

-Aaron P. Taylor

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote an article called “The Psychology of Women: Why They Hate on Each Other,” which talked about the various reasons women often snub their noses at other women who are doing better than them. 

One of my regular readers wrote me, and posed the following question:

“Why is this phenomena of ’senseless hating’ also somewhat present (across gender lines) in the black community?”

The answer to this question is actually quite easy: the reason black people often hate against other blacks who are more successful than they are is because of what I like to call the “Crabs In a Barrel” theory.

Those of you not familiar with the working of crabs may not be aware, but if you put a whole bunch of crabs inside a barrel, they all have one goal: to try to make it to the top of the barrel and escape!

Yet lo and behold, not a single one of them ever makes it out of the barrel. Why? Because as soon as one of them gets close to the top of the barrel, the other crabs pull it back down. This goes on for each crab that tries to escape its trapping: as soon as it gets close to achieving its goal, the other crabs below pull it back down.

Black people are often the same way. We currently make up 12% of the U.S. population, and are being overtaken in the “minority” sector by various other races. The job market is already a hard enough place for blacks to get hired in, let alone promoted.

What this means is, there is a perceived - re-read, “perceived” - limited amount of highly desired slots for black people in upper-to-middle class society, and the number black people fighting for those spots on a daily basis is quite high.

Unfortunately, the actual number of blacks who make it into that region are, percentage-wise, quite low. As a result, you have a larger number of blacks who look at the ones in the upper realms of class status, and are angry that another black person figured out how to get there when they couldn’t even get their foot in the door.

Thus: the hate and jealousy blacks have for each other.

My brother and I grew up in neighborhoods that were quite nice, yet for some reason our parents would always take us to Black churches that were in what would be considered the “hood” areas of town (i.e. Jackson-Ward - people in Richmond will know what I’m talking about!). As soon as we would try to make friends with the kids at these churches, they’d immediately “white”-list us (i.e. call us “white” for having proper grammer when we spoke) and make fun of us all the time.

Was this teasing warranted? Of course not! But you have to think about the fact that we were coming into church dressed in fairly nice suits, while some of these kids could barely get a T-shirt and shorts together for Sunday service. And both of our parents had successful jobs and/or life situations that allowed us to live well, whereas most of them lived in the worst part of the ‘hood.

Thus: the hate and jealousy blacks have for each other.

It sucks that we feel like we have to tear someone else down in order to “be on top.” 50 Cent became famous because he came out and dissed everyone else that was ahead of him in the rap game. Meanwhile, most rappers’ songs are about killing any other “brother” who tries to step to, or say they are better, than them. Black basketball players resort to fighting other teams physically if they accidentally knock them over during a game. The Supremes break up just because Diana Ross is getting a lil’ more spotlight than the other members.

The list of examples go on and on.

What’s interesting to note is, if the crabs in the barrel were to work together to knock the barrel over, they’d ALL be able to get set free. Yet, because each crab selfishly wants to help only themselves, they’d rather pull another crab down instead of lifting it up to get out the barrel.

And the same is true of African-Americans. Until we can stop hating on each other and help each other be successful, the majority of us are going to forever be stuck in a symbolic barrel, always hating the person above us and focusing so much energy on pulling them back down that we never end up bettering our community’s situation as a whole.

-A.P.T.