After watching Oprah strap a slowly ticking time bomb to Chris Brown’s once enviable career, it was clear that the R&B universe desperately needed someone… anyone… to claim the shamed Mike Jack reboot’s forfeited crown and hold the struggling genre down until he bounced back from his looming legal woes.
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| Alejandro Ford |
Initially, syrupy hitmaker Ne-Yo pranced into my mind as a fitting Breezy stand-in — mainly due to his obvious triple threat appeal — along with milk-cartoned croonsmith Trey Songz, blunt lusting slow jammist J. Holiday and lazy tongued love lizard Lloyd before I finally broke down and awarded the crown to the most unlikely R&B superstar of our generation — An incredibly innovative, vowel yelping dough boy named The-Dream.
Blessed with the body of a Teddy Ruxpin plush doll and the face of a golden dipped cabbage patch kid, Terius Nash aka The-Dream is definitely not your typical R&B panty wetter… but damnnnn! … Dude… gets… it…in… and currently has every freak’um dressed estrogen vessel seductively rockin’ their sh*t inside a club near you.
Now I know some of you are thinking: “Alejandro… are you F@$@#% serious?! How could you crown this muppet voiced sh*t talker over Jamie Foxx (Hot part-time R&B artist who currently has five Dream-penned songs on his album), Teddy Pain (Mega-successful trendsetter whose career is fading by the minute) and Musiq (…Err… who?)?!”
And to you doubters I say: Because it’s my M@$#$@ F@$%#@ blog you damn Kanye sing-a-longers and retarded azz music lovers… that’s why! …If you don’t agree with me then you’re certainly welcome to put together your own musically insightful blog and argue on behalf of Avant, Case, Jon B., Sterling Simms and any of the aforementioned artists who YOU feel should rock the crown in Breezy’s absence.
There’s simply no way I can deny The-Dream’s brilliant R.Kelly-esque writing touch and galactically mind-bending production courtesy of creative partner Christopher “Tricky” Stewart that has certified the stubble-faced hit machine behind Rihanna’s “Umbrella,” Beyonce’s “Single Ladies,” J. Holiday’s “Bed/Suffocate,” Raheem DeVaughn’s “Customer,” and Mary J. Blige’s “Just Fine,” as an undeniable heart throb and urban music tastemaker.
However, if there is a chink in the arrogant crooner’s platinum plated armor, it’s his slack azz stage presence (Dream may be one of the worst live performers in the free world) and sock puppetish singing ability which have always been eclipsed by his ultra-sultry club anthems that lure the ladies onto the dance floor and into the arms of their next one night stand candidate/ex-boyfriend.
As painful as it is to admit liking the foul-mouthed boo snatcher and both of his infectiously catchy albums, “Love/Hate” and the newly released “Love vs. Money,” I felt compelled to recognize the gifted ‘Radio Killa’ as a mainstream artist that’s actually making quality music. Right now, I know several dudes who bump The-Dream when trying to invade their girl’s sticky nether regions only to deny ever listening to a single one of his songs when asked by others.
But as alluring as The-Dream’s quirky brand of R&B may be, the chart smoldering superstar wasn’t always a major solo act and grinded for years as a faceless songwriter before trading his golden pen for a mic of his own like writer turned artist Ne-Yo successfully did before him.
To me, Jay-Z’s signing of The-Dream to a solo deal was one of Hov’s crowning achievements as Def Jam President even though he allowed the upstart’s debut album “Love/Hate” to slide into the fourth quarter with very little promotion on its way to a Dec. 11, 2007 release.
Fortunately for the 27-year-old Atlanta product, the timeless, Purple Rain drenched album boasted several irresistibly slinky bangers like the club rocking ladies anthem “I Love Ur Girl,” the seductive slow burner “Falsetto” and the breezy, Prince-inspired ditty “Fast Car” to name a few.
Other than being certified Gold months after its release and hailed as a contemporary classic, “Love/Hate” was beloved by the ladies and secretly placed in heavy rotation by many of us fellas who couldn’t seem to get enough of “I Luv Ur Girl.”
With several hit records already under his belt and the eyes of an entire industry focused on his every power move, The-Dream recently tightened his grip on the game with the release of his highly-anticipated follow-up to “Love/Hate” entitled “Love Vs. Money” — A lushly polished, conceptual masterpiece loaded with epically entrancing soundscapes and libido tickling pillow talk — that moved over 151K copies during its first week of release off of the strength of lead mega-single “Rockin’ That Thang.”
If you haven’t banged “Love Vs. Money” and you claim to be some sort of R&B head, I highly suggest that you press *stop* on that other wack azz ‘Beep Beep’/’Kiss Me Thru The Phone’ sh*t and familiarize yourself with one of the hottest R&B albums to drop in the last few years.
Even if you despise The-Dream as an artist, there will be parts of you that won’t be able to resist gems like “Fancy” “Sweat It Out” “Put It Down” “Kelly’s 12 Play”…etc… especially if you’re a woman looking to get knocked up in the near future.
Hopefully, The-Dream will continue to grow as an artist/writer while keeping R&B relevant to the masses until Breezy returns and adds another potent shot of creative energy into the veins of the artistically diseased genre.
But until then, our only option is to wait on new albums from Justin Timberlake, Colin Munroe, Trey Songz, Raheem DeVaughn, Pleasure P, Static Major (R.I.P.), Eric Roberson, D’Angelo, Lyfe Jennings, Johnta Austin and a rumored Kanye/Dream joint-album that’s only intriguing if The-Dream exclusively handles the vocals and forces that delusion tattered whack job to remember how to rap again … THAT’S RIGHT … I said it! … Come and get meeeeeeeeeeee…
This has been another Alejandro production.
