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Browsing: Uncategorized
July 7th, 2011 | By EMQ Network Contributor
Don’t miss “The Breakthrough Tour”
Performers:
Joe Budden
Panama
Chaz Money
Jr Junior
The Kid Gashi
Pip Nyce
Host/DJ:
DJ Big
Doors 7:00 / Show at 8:00
$18 Presale / $25 Door / $40 VIP
Paradigm – Norfolk, VA – 7/5/11 – Ages 21+
U Street Music Hall – Washington, DC – 7/6/11 – Ages 18+
Fish Head Cantina – Baltimore, MD – 7/7/11 – Ages 21+
Giveaways from:
Nooka
Rocksmith
Young & Reckless
Deos
AND MORE!!!
Tickets can be purchased at:
Thebreakthroughtour.eventbrite.com
Be sure to follow The Breakthough Tour:
@joebudden
@itspanamababy
@chazmoney21
@iam_jrjunior
@thekidgashi
@pip_nyce
David Wander
Open Book Entertainment
244 5th Ave – Suite 2275
New York, NY 10001
Office: 212-726-1168
Cell: 646-450-8857
Fax: 212-726-3168
dave@openbookent.com
“Welcome Home”
March 14th, 2011 | By Alejandro Ford
Lupe Fiasco’s latest album Lasers (formerly known as LupeEND, We Are Lasers & Food & Liquor II, at some point, during the past 3 years) sounds like glittergasmic noise Diddy would play on the last train to Paris when he’s not playing Last Train To Paris.
Yes, cotton-candelicious ear candy packaged as modern Hip-Hop, or the highly-anticipated follow-up to The Cool that Team: Fiasco petitioned to be released (by Atlantic) months ago.
Believe me, THIS ain’t THAT record (or rumored records), and fails to be anything other than an edgy Bruno Mars album – Bruno Mars + rapping & auto-tuned crooning by the EMOmaniacal label puppet formerly known as dope MC Lupe Fiasco.
As a chintzy Kidz Bop album, Lasers shines, brightly—starting where Nicki’s Pink Friday ended—with an undeniable appeal to (radio) program directors & Black Eyed Peas stans. But, to tortured Hip-Hop heads, it’ll be stamped as a glitzy wasteland of misguided artistry, greed-fueled gimmicks & wasted talent destined to rot in our subconscious until (KRIT’s) Returnof4eva drops.
And, with that said, here are 5 good reasons why I’ll never listen to Lasers again. *punts burnt copy of Lasers into the sun & bangs Mozart*
5. “Words I Never Said” isn’t a dope Eminem or Kanye or Linkin Park song. Well, no…because it’s a dope Lupe song (featuring Skylar Grey’s haunting vocals) that GOES until he, uh, spits (passionately) about random socio-economical-political-shit that no one wants HIS bitch-azz to spit about.
4. The insanely-irksome hooks on the Ace of Base-ish “Break The Chain,” Uncle-Reverend-Legend-wrecked “Never Forget You,” ‘this-would-sound-dope-playing-between-MTV-shows-nobody-watches’ “State Run Radio” & criminally-cliché “The Show Goes On.” Yes. WHACKEST. HOOKS. EVER.
3. There’s no CRS banger. No All City Chess Club banger. No Matthew Santos hooks, fresh concepts (See: Jill Scott collab on Food & Liquor) or Neptunes beats (“I’m Beamin” = Neptunes track). No “I’m Beamin” or “Shining Down.” No memorable, rewindable or nostalgic moments. Just random Pop shit Julie Greenwald liked.
(Note: Julie Greenwald is the privileged Jewish woman (from the Catskills in Middle-of-Nowhere, NY) responsible for Plies, Pretty Ricky, Flo Rida & Trey Songz. She’s President of Atlantic Records (one of two female Presidents of major labels), and the reason Lasers sounds like a Danity Kane album.)
2. That awkward moment when I realize Trey Songz (who hasn’t stopped impersonating R. Kelly since Trey Day) & Lupe are on the same track. And it’s awkward Every. Single. Time because label mandated collabs are always incredibly-awkward. (See: Ke$ha & Andre 3000 “Sleazy” (Remix) or Ying Yang Twins & Teedra Moses “Put That Thang Down.” -___-).
1. Lupe sounds like Charlie Brown’s parents whenever he addresses ‘important’ issues, or raps about them. At this point, I’m fresh out of fun-sized damns to give about an infantile man-boy who contemplates suicide every time he loses.
Exhibit A: ‘The label thought my version of “Nothin On You” was WHACK & went with B.O.B’s?’ WHY MEEEEEEE LAWD?! *loads pistol*
Exhibit B: ‘Bloggers leaked my new single without even asking for my permission?’ THEY.JUST.DON’T.KNOW.HOW.MUCH.THIS.HURRRRRTS.ME! *holds pistol to temple*
Exhibit C: ‘Pres. Obama won the election despite me not voting for him?’ LIFE’S NOT FAIR EVAAAAR! *sobs uncontrollably with pistol pressed to temple*
Exhibit D: ‘DAMN…my fans HATE my new album…Nooooooo!’ WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO.ME?! *pulls trigger (while lips quiver) but realizes safety’s still on*
(Note: Quotes are paraphrased from actual quotes)
Sadly, Lasers is projected to debut #1 on the charts with 220K units moved. So, either way, Hip-Hop loses…again.
September 13th, 2010 | By Alejandro Ford
Last nite’s VMAs would’ve been the perfect combination of Ambien & Benadryl (kids, don’t try this at home) had I been struggling to win my nightly Chess game with Insomnia. But, sadly, I wasn’t, and subjected myself to MTV’s Hip-Pop-sewage-splashed Awards show with no conscience, memorable performances or timeless-‘remember when _____ did ________ with_______at the ’10 VMAs’-type moments.
So, rather than punishing you with 875 words of cliché-coated commentary (See: today’s tragically-uninspired VMAs re-caps), I decided to pose 12.5 good questions about the most mega-hyped, creatively-retarded Awards spectacle in MTV history (And yes, this year’s EBT BET Awards > VMAs. Quote me).
1. Who knew that ‘re-vitiligo’ was real, and that Will.I.Am (who looked like a fresh bottle of Jermaine Jackson’s Oriental jet-black hair dye spectacular) had been living with it all these years?
2. Was it really necessary for Mary J. Blige to add soul-stirring slave-libs to her “Fancy”-collab with Drake? (Sorry—but—they were a bit too ‘Underground Railroad-fancy’ for me).
3. What exactly does Nicki Minaj suffer from? Is she severely-Bipolar? Autistic? Schizophrenic? All three? None? A mixture of the three with a sprinkle of multiple personality disorder & deep tissue brain damage?! Let me know.
4. Why does Ke$ha always look like she reeks of used lambskin condoms, urine-dipped pork rinds & never-ending failure?
5. Why didn’t VMAs producers show Pusha T’s name & Hip-Hop resume during his performance so that white people wouldn’t think he was a random stranger-rapper Kanye-ing Kanye?
6. Who loses FIRST in a game of Operation: Drake, Michael J. Fox or Muhammed Ali? (Let that marinate).
7. A love spawn between Antonio Banderas & Fantasia would speak just like _______? My Answer: Sofia Vergara.
8. Did Jordan Knight know that Justin Bieber was ‘borrowing’ his choreography from the “Give It To You” video?
9. Why did it feel like Chelsea Handler’s painfully-unfunny jokes were written by Carlos Mencia & Dane Cook…for Kathy Griffin?
10. Does this look like a man who wants to beat da puddy up, make it fart or buss it wide opin?
11. Where did Taylor Swift’s vocal coach go after she packed her shxt & ran off with *Ursher’s dance stamina, Mo’Nique’s inside voice & The-Dream’s neck?
12. Who gave Kanye Dynamite & his 1982 leisure suit worn by David Ruffin during the Temptation’s Valentine’s Day concerts permission to perform “Runaway” on Michael Jackson’s spaceship from the “Scream” video?
12.5 And why do I feel like he could drop an album called Moments of Silence with no lyrics, beats or song titles & his stans would still be blown away like they were after his forgettable VMAs performance?! Toast to the douchbags? Nah, I’m good.
April 29th, 2010 | By Alejandro Ford
To thousands, she’s Nicki Minaj—the illest femme-cee ALIVE—but to anti-fadsters, like me, she’s merely just Hip-POP’s Queen of the ALL FAKE EVERYthings—with a sock puppetish ‘Fire Marshall Bill’ flow—who proved that her brain, too, was ‘Made In China’ when she 8-6’d (ex-manager) ‘Ms. Debra’ aka the streets-saluted tastemaker behind criminally-UNtalented Yo Gabba Gabbsters Gucci Peppa Wangz & Waka Flocka Waaaakaaa (son)—to hire infamous career wreckist Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs as her official ‘manager.’
..So, with that said, I’ve dredged up FIVE good reasons why Nicki ButterBARS (She SEGGZY..but her ‘rap’ bars?! ..c’mon son) should re-consider hopping in bed with the globally-side-eyed mega-mogul and putting her p@#$y on his sideburns..when Cassie’s asleep who’s never gon’ stop ‘never stopping’ even if it’s, well, what Jesus (…or any other label head with *3 Gold/Platinum albums on their roster since ’04) would do. *POW..Take Dat..Take Dat*
5. Young Money > Dirty Money: Nicki’s About $1…WTF is 2 (Dirty) Cents?!
Nicki’s a freshly-minted dime-piece compared to Diddy’s dirt-crusted pennies & pocket lintettes Dawn & Estelle Kalenna who’d instantly gain 1 ¼ stars standing beside the game’s baddest ‘5-Star’ bish—who’s easily ‘Azz & Titties Barbie’ to their ‘Gawjus Garbage Pale Kid’ & ‘Trendy Treasure Troll’ (respectively)—during their Last Train To Paris promo tour.
As Diddy’s brand new Dirty Money promo play toy, Nicki would no longer be the ‘Sarah Palin of Hip-Hop’ once he siphons her blog-fueled buzz into his own musically-irrevelant career thus proving why she needs a dope management team like ‘Hip-Hop Since 1978’ (Drake, Weezy, Kanye & Jeezy) to capitalize on her ever-growing mainstream popularity.
4. Diddy’s ‘Nicki Management Plan’ = Jay-Z’s ‘Amil Management Plan’
I’m certainly not Dionne Warwick..err, or Miss Cleo, but I’d bet my best Young Money pajamas (…with the footies) that ‘Diddy-managed Nicki’ adds the following ‘power moves’ to her Wiki-page by Month #6:
A) Features on Kiely Williams’ debut & Bran’Nu’s (Brandy) rap debut Bran’Nufrodisiac
B) Small roles in Tyler Perry’s Why Am I STILL Married? & Why Did I Get A Divorce?
C) Endorsement deals from Citi Trendz, Hasbro Kid Sister dolls, Cap’n D’s & Myspace.
D) Severing of ties with ghostwriters Drake & Weezy, and the Young Money crew.
3. Kima, Keisha, Pam…and Nicki?! ..Wait, wha?! ..World: ‘HELL+NO to Total 2.0’
Nicki may not realize this…yet, but she’s already agreed to headline Total 2.0 as the fourth lesbian member of the hood-beloved trio (Pg. 362 of 400, ‘Diddy Management Agreement’) that Diddy plans to re-launch after his Notorious R.I.C.K.Y. W.A.L.R.U.S. project with the next greatest Biggie re-boot not named Guerilla Black..err, or Shyne.
Honestly, I’d rather watch (girl group) Dream play Danity Kane in a celebrity basketball game than Day26 + lacefronts & lip gloss aka Kima, Keisha & Pam ‘shock the world’ with rap’s bargain-bin ’Lil Kim doll who makes them a smidge too relevant for their own VH1 reality show. Sorry..but, Nicki headlining Total 2.0 makes just as much sense as Keri Hilson linking with Adina Howard to re-boot Changing Faces.
2. Barbie Girl In Diddy’s Reality GAME WORLD
Diddy definitely had a fetish for playing childish mind games with fame-thirsty nobodies who did EVERYthing BUT wipe his turd-smeared azz (PAUSE.) with baby wipes during Making The Band (1-?), Making His Band & I Want To Work For Diddy (1-2) which put future ex-Bad Boy staffers on—well, kinda—unlike Nicki, who ‘joined’ the Bad Boy ‘empire’ after selling Diddy her Mattel-stamped soul.
However, you’re nothing in Diddy’s shade-cloaked eyes until you play his ego-punishing games which, in Nicki’s case, is one potentially career-ending challenge destined to either make her a management ‘priority’ or a forgotten commodity, like Janelle Monae:
1) Ether ‘Babs’ (Making The Band 1), ‘Mysterious’ (Making The Band 2) & special contender ‘Keys the Problem’ (World-Famous Nicki Minaj DISS: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WcAm2Pm15HU&feature=related.) during an MTV-aired freestyle battle for the femme-cee spot on Diddy’s Junior M.A.F.I.A. re-boot (Notorious W.A.L.R.U.S, Diggy Simmons, Jim Jones & Blinky Blink). I’ll call this Making the Band..err, 11.
[But, then again, you & me both know that George W. Bush has a better chance being elected Mayor of New Orleans than Nicki does winning a rap battle against any decent femme-cee other than maybe Sylk-E. Fine, Lumidee or Khia. *Solé shrug*]
1. The Inevitable Biggie/Nicki Minaj Collab= THE END of Hip-Hop.
The day Nicki name-drops Santa’s reindeer (..again), seven dwarfs, ten Care Bears or any other popular collection of make-believe creatures while trading bars with Biggie is the day I’ll beg GAWD to press backspace on humanity. I’m sorry…but I’d rather hear an Aaliyah/Fergie duet or Guru/Soulja Boy collab, than Biggie & ‘Fire Marshall Bill’ rock over endless Diddy ad-libs. *Jim Carrey shrug*
“Bad Boy…we ain’t gon’ stop..I couldn’t stop now if I wanted to. I will never stop” — Diddy.
November 27th, 2009 | By Alejandro Ford
‘They’ say Hip-Hop’s DEAD — err, deceased, toe-tagged, pine-boxed, you know, in a ‘better, less depressing place’ — and was tucked inside Big & Pac’s tailored burial suits after somehow being ‘murdered’ in cold blood by: A) Greed-stricken record execs with insatiable ring-tone fetishes B) The F#!@$@$%# FOUR = Algernod, DeAndre, Radrick & Otis C) Pay-Per-Play Radio programmers D) Colonel Mustard with a candlestick inside the Billiard Room…(BING!) (wait, or was it Professor Plum..in the…?!) Bleh, who knows…better yet, who even knew that the POP-diseased genre had officially flat-lined?! …I’d say no one who truly loves music, lives it, or does it because TRUE music heads — all 1,723 of us on Earf — know that Hip-Hop/Soul — REAL Hip-Hop/Soul — AIN’T really DEAD. (more…)
October 5th, 2009 | By Alejandro Ford
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October 4th, 2009 | By EMQ Network Contributor
By KeJuana Stanley — Black College Wire
Whitney Houston is no longer shouting out her love for the infamous Bobby Brown in courtrooms; instead, she’s blowing out lyrical melodies on her much-anticipated album, “I Look to You.”
Do not call it a comeback because she’s been here for years. Since her last album six years ago, Houston’s personal tragedies have flooded  headlines and now she’s reclaiming her throne as an untouched talented songstress. ImageThe album, which is half good, half forgettable, but never lame, hit stores yesterday. All 11 tracks are streaming live on whitneyhouston.com. Although the singer looks tired on the album’s cover, she sings of tackling her demons with a refreshing clarity.
Her highs aren’t quite as high anymore and that famous throaty low is now an awkward drag queen husky.
On the first single, “Million Dollar Bill,” produced by Swizz Beatz, Houston lets it all hang out without overbearing digital trickery. It is a surprising moment that reminds the listener that in spite all of her tabloid trappings; she’s still a fabulous singer with stellar control and phrasing.
The up-tempo, joyful track about love is arguably one of the most energetic songs Houston has ever done. “Million Dollar Bill” has an amazing bass line and almost recalls the late Michael Jackson in “Off The Wall” with catchy hook, “you make me feel like a million dollar bill.” Her vocals are strong and it doesn’t appear as if she’s trying to compete with teenagers.
Although the album’s second half loses its catch, there are nice singles to be discovered. Stargate, the Norwegian producers that made Beyonce’s, “Irreplaceable” a smash, produced the mid-tempo, “Call You Tonight.” This track is fun and mature and a song everyone can relate to.
Heavily produced, it was sometimes difficult to adjust to hearing a pure vocalist like Houston sing on top of such a heavily produced track. “Call You Tonight” is reminiscent of one of the better tracks from 2002’s, “Just Whitney.”
In the R. Kelly produced, “Salute,” Houston is saying goodbye to a former lover who has done her wrong, and she’s letting go with no anger. She confidently and bolds serenades, “I salute you” in this strictly R&B track. Could Houston be referring to the troublesome Bobby Brown? Who’s to say?
Houston delivers meaningful lyrics and worked with the best in the music industry to produce a fresh album that will make her a positive household name.
Houston tried a few comeback albums during her troubled times, but there was always a level of insincerity and false confidence to each. Something was wrong, and fans knew it. This album is far more humble and confident.
Compared to all of the modern-day studio singers that need to be digitally enhanced to sell a record, it is nice to have a “real” singer re-surface.
Comment on this article
KeJuana Stanley writes for The Famuan, the Florida A&M University student newspaper, which originally published this article.
July 16th, 2009 | By Alejandro Ford
Commentator, Alejandro Ford, sets the record straight about the legacy of Michael Jackson.
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July 1st, 2009 | By Aaron P. Taylor
I hate going to funerals.
The last person close to me that died was my Granddad on my Mom’s side. I was living with my uncle in Pennsylvania at the time, and we drove aaaaall the way down to Alabama for the funeral (which was a LONG over-night drive). We got there early the next morning and went straight to the church, where the rest of our family was waiting.
Once inside the church, we all got a chance to walk up to my Granddad’s casket. I got to look at him one last time, and… well, I don’t really cry at these things anymore, but I looked at him and automatically thought to myself:
“Wow – they did a LOUSY job embalming him!”
Later on during the funeral, as people went up and started talking about my Granddad, I became more and more angry with how the service was going. Every time somebody would say something, I would analyze it, pick it apart, and find fault with what they were saying.
“Hey, they didn’t mention this thing about him!”
“Wait a minute – why are they only talking about his LAST job as a Wal-mart greeter?? Where is the personal stuff??”
Even the choir that sang at the thing was pissing me off – “Why did they pick THAT song?? Why is it so darn off-key??” The happiest part for me was when the funeral part was finally over, and we were allowed to eat in the church’s cafeteria.
—
In looking back on it now, there wasn’t anything particularly wrong with my Granddad’s funeral per se. Sure, there were things here and there that I wished would have happened, but ultimately, most people probably have similar feelings at funerals. Why?
BECAUSE WHEN YOU’VE KNOWN SOMEONE FOR THE MAJORITY OF YOUR LIFE, IT’S HARD TO SEE SOMEONE ELSE TAKE THAT PERSON AND TRY TO CELEBRATE THEIR LIFE WITHOUT HAVING SOME KIND OF OPINION ABOUT IT.
In looking at the B.E.T. awards yesterday, I actually ENJOYED the program. At the same time, though, I know there are many others that thought B.E.T. either (a) didn’t do enough to remember MJ, (b) didn’t remember him in the right way, or (c) felt it was too much of a rush job and not classy enough.
I understand where these feelings come from. The ENTIRE WORLD from the 1960s ’til now grew up on Michael Jackson. He was in the ENTIRE WORLD’S lives for 45 years. That’s BILLIONS of people.
What does that mean? It means that BILLIONS of people are going to have various opinions about how his life should be celebrated.
For the opinions of the (comparatively smaller) MILLIONS of people who watched the award show on Sunday, you have to take into account the fact that, when an event like this happens where many feeling of sadness abound, ANYTHING DONE WRONG AT THE SHOW COULD MAKE THEM AUTOMATICALLY HATE HOW THEY CHOSE TO HONOR HIM.
For example: you might have watched the show and loved every bit of it until near the end, when Lil’ Wayne and Drake got up on stage and dedicated “F–k Every Girl” to the Gloved one. That one act of so-called “disrespect” could automatically make you think they did a snow job on MJ’s memory, even if you liked the rest of the show up to that point. (more…)
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